Looking Back

Tomorrow our little guy will be 1 month old!! Where the time went I have no clue! I look back at the first ultrasound picture we got of him! The feeling you get when you first find out you are pregnant, first time you hear the heart beat, first ultrasound, first kick, the first cry, and holding that little one in your arms for the first time! It is such overwhelming joy to experience each one of those!

Looking back it was a LONG pregnancy! On July 24th, 2009 is when we first found out we were pregnant.From the start we were told that they baby probably wouldn't develop and not to expect a heart beat, God gave us this baby and on August 29th, 2009 is when we first saw our little one! The doctor looked shocked to see the baby developing and having such a strong heart beat! 

On September 21st, 2009 is the first time we were able to his his strong little heart beating at 156 bpm!

November 1st, 2009 while sitting in church is the first time I felt him move! I remember my eyes just filled with tears! I told wade we had a future preacher on our hands! :)

The first time I got sent to the hospital at 26 weeks with high blood pressure was tough! I remember sitting there trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, why this was happening! When we got sent home we were thankful we didn't have to meet our little one too early! 

Then at 28 weeks when my doctor did an ultrasound because I was experiencing problems, he found the hole in my water bag and the fluid levels were low. I remembering sitting there and the doctor just grabbed my hand and said "I am sorry I wanted this to be the best pregnancy for you! We are going to have to deliver this baby and if the baby makes it you will have a long road ahead of you." I remembering sitting there and that word IF replayed over and over and over in my head! What could he possibly mean by IF?! We were transported to the top hospital downtown Chicago. After many days of observation and tests and many many prayers we were told the good news that the hole resealed itself and they were sending me home on strict bed rest! We couldn't believe it! We had so many people praying for us and it was truly an answer to prayer!

Then we had about three more trips to the hospital because my blood pressure kept going up! :)

On Sunday March 14th after we got home from church that night I told wade I thought my water broke. He wanted to go straight to the hospital! But after my MANY stays in the hospital I asked him if we could just wait till the morning and I would call the doctor. Monday morning I called the doctor made an appointment. At 11:45 my doctor told me my water broke and I would be having a c-section that night! 

On March 16th, 2010 at 9:28 PM we heard that first cry and we got to meet our little man! :)

I have been asked many times if it was worth it or if I will ever want anymore children. 

It was a very very long and scary pregnancy! There were so many nights where I sat crying trying to figure out what I was doing wrong or what I could do to keep him healthy and safe.

 One of the hardest things for me to do was to just let go and stop worrying and completely trust that whatever happened was all part of Gods plan! I still had some worry if my little one was going to be ok! But the whole pregnancy tested my trust in God! My relationship with God became stronger. Wade and I became closer than we already were! I spent many days and nights just praying asking God to help me put complete trust in Him!

So would I do it all over again?! YES in a heart beat! Every tear, every hospital stay, every hospital bill is all completely worth it!

 Our doctor is an unsaved man. Through all of this he was able to meet with our pastor several times. By the end of our pregnancy the doctor was saying the man upstairs must have heard all your prayers because that is the only reason I can think of why you made it this far! 

So even though we may never completely understand why everything happened the way it did I am thankful for the witnessing opportunity it is to my doctor. I pray that God will continue to use us as a witness to him and that maybe one day we can see him accept Christ!

And the JOY of us having our little man here!!! We would go through it all again for him!! We will go through it all again for any other children if God blesses us with more! 

I just sit and stare at Rob ALL day! I never get much done! But I look at him and I thank God everyday for him! He is such a blessing to us and we love him SO much!